Cows and Faith

“Go to the Cow?” Elijah asked after his nap. “the Cow” is actually Chick-fil-A (CFA) for all of you who don’t speak toddler. 😉

chick-fil-a

“Yes, after Ella wakes up,” I replied. And once she did, we were all packed in the car on our way to meet my mom in Castle Rock. As we drove past the road that we turn on to go to our ‘usual” CFA, Elijah started to have a meltdown and cry because he thought weren’t going anymore.

I patiently explained that we were going to a different one. He adamantly disagreed, “No we’re not!’ I told him we were going to see nana. He continued his protest. Once we got on the highway, that we also take to go to church, he went into full meltdown mode–his legs were kicking and the tears were flowing.  By this time, I decided to stop trying to rationalize with him and remain silient.

Eventually he stopped being upset and noticed a trash truck driving beside us. We had a pleasant conversation until he again noticed that we weren’t going our “usual” route. “I don’t want to go to church. I want to see cow.” Once again I patiently explained all that was happening.

I promised him that we were going to the cow.

I asked him to trust me.

I tried to distract him.

Nothing would work for any real length of time so I again resorted to being quiet. This cycle continued until we reached our destination about 30 minutes later. Once he saw the building he broke into a huge smile and got very excited. He forgot all about his doubt-filled journey. Ahhh, life with a toddler. 😉

You see, Elijah is two. He has a small amount of life experience. He has yet to understand that when I promise him something, I will deliver. Or that when I ask him to trust me, he should. He is also very comfortable when things go how he can expect them to go. We have many routines around our home that help him know what will be happening next. We generally shop and eat at the same places, which he is now aware of. But when we do something out of the “norm” like going to a different CFA, he is likes to object.

And the Lord showed me that people can be very much the same way. We like to know what is going to happen. It’s the if-then syndrome.  If we go to college to get a degree then we should always be able to get a job. If we marry a man that we are in love with then we should never get a divorce. If we love our family well then they should love us back. If we commit our hearts to the Lord then nothing too bad should happen to us. Friends, I personally know this all too well. Remember my confession?

I couldn’t help but think about how many times the Lord has given me a promise; and then when my circumstances began to look a bit different than I expected, I start to kick and scream. I doubt that what He said is true. I rely on the scenery around me and use my {two year-old} understanding to make sense of my circumstance. I may trust for a minute; but when I continue to hear “just wait my child,” I begin another cycle of fear.  Then I can become discouraged by the Lord’s silence when I refused to listen to His voice in the first place. All the while I am supposed to be walking by faith NOT by sight. hmmm….

This makes me all the more eager to know the sound of my Father’s voice and test Him at His word so that I may trust Him even more.

When Elijah first turned two he had little to no understanding of the English language and a small amount of trust in my voice. Now, as he is getting ready to turn 3, he is much easier to rationalize with and he does trust me more. We spend A LOT of time together and A LOT of time talking. We are learning one another. And even though he refused to believe me about our different “Cow” destination, I do believe that next time I ask him to trust me about going to a different CFA he will be more likely to listen.

Life is always going to be a journey. If you trust in the Lord, you must follow Him down a narrow path full of challenges and changes in scenery. You will not always understand. You will not always believe. You may kick and scream. But once you experience the thrill of overcoming, you will know Him more. And the more you know Him, the easier it is to trust Him.

Friends, let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess…for He who promised us is faithful! And if you are having a hard day, wanting to kick and scream, and doubting God’s promises, pour your heart out to Him. He will listen. He will be gracious to you. He will speak. Then be open to receive His peace. And then if you must continue to wait, go have yourself a CFA milkshake. The cookies and cream one is my personal favorite. 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Cows and Faith

  1. Wow, Ali that had to be one of the best wrtings I have read in awhile. My dear, you seriously need to write a book, or lead a woman’s group. You are amazing. I loved loved reading this post. And the timeing of this was inpecable. You are the most amazing woman of God and I love hearing you speak from your heart. I love you so much. Donna

  2. My friend, I’ve been kicking and screaming so much this past week, as you know. I’m typing this comment through tear-filled eyes knowing that God has drawn me closer to Him with recent events. Why didn’t i trust Him more when He started me down this different path? Oh… Thank you for your words, your insight, your love for our Father and His light you let shine so brightly through you.

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