on letting go…

I can’t believe it has almost been 6 weeks since the little guy arrived into our lives.

giving elijah kisses after his first bath

He is such a joy!

But I need to be honest onestly, I have had some really hard days stained by tears and irritability that caused me to question if I really have what it takes to be a good mom. I know it takes time to learn and believe me, we are both doing our fair share of it. While he is learning how to eat, burp, sleep and poop, I am learning to let go…not of him {quite yet} but of my need for schedules, predictability and control. Ugh, even writing them out makes me cringe.

I have always been proud of the way I can plan and multitask with the best of ’em. Rarely do I  let a to-do list go unfinished. I like things to be put in their place, wrapped in a nicely decorated package and on my timetable. Sure it takes some of the  spontaneity  out of life; but in my book, that has always been justifiable.

Do you see why it’s been hard for me? Thankfully, I did get some wonderful advice from a mom {of 9} the other day in regard to these first 6 weeks:

…it’s a rollercoaster ride and it feels as if the ride will never end. In some ways it never does..and that’s the beauty of it. Learning to put your arms in the air and enjoy the thrill is contrary to all of our natural impulses to “hang on”..as if we can control we’re not designed to control.

A week from today I go back to work.

I don’t like it but I can’t change it.

So I won’t fight what I can’t control…I will just keep telling myself to “keep my arms up in the air and enjoy the ride!”

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4 thoughts on “on letting go…

  1. Hang in there! It is so true what they say about the first few weeks being the toughest! Sometimes I still feel like I can’t do it (when sleep-deprived usually :P), but we can do it…that’s the miracle of motherhood! By the way, awesome quote.

    …looking forward to reading the rest of your birth story too :).

  2. I think that blog post is my favorite one so far. You’re the best, Ali-so genuine, so real. Elijah is lucky to have such a mother as you!

    -Megs

  3. So true! It is one crazyyyyyy ride, for sure. Bad days suck. But then there are good days that make up for the sucky ones. I’ve come to the conclusion that that’s why God made babies so adorable – to get us through the early months without going completely insane!

  4. It is definitely a crazy time…and anyone that tells you otherwise is lying! I feel you with the schedule thing. That does remedy itself a little when they get older. Hang in there! You’re a GREAT Mom!

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